So I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been taking a break from making stuff obsessively over the past few weeks. My hands and fingers ache, and they need a break for a bit. I think I may have over did the crocheting for too long. it's so funny that my hands feel like those of an eighty year old's. I guess I deal with my stress by creating things and doing things. I watch it happen as if it were a movie playing in front of my eyes. I start to fidget just bored jittery nervous feelings, mainly when I'm by myself. then I look for the nearest project. but right now my hands feel like tight rubber bands that don't want to stretch forward. Then I think to myself "well my hands hurt so i prolly shouldn't crochet today" so I continue to look around to find something to pour myself into for just a few undisturbed hours. (this rarely happens because someone calls or texts or comes over or wants to go do something because they themselves are bored.) I recently bought some new pallet knives and some new paint brushes. I've been thinking about painting again but it's only because my one unfinished piece hangs on the wall taunting me to fix it. It would take a three day montage of painting and whatnot to fix the tree behind the hand then try to fix the hand and make it smooth. Note: If you ever want to paint a 3D image 3D do it from an actual photo not a picture in your head.... sometimes you loose the picture and it takes a very very long time to get that picture back.... but it won't be the same as the first time you saw it. it will be changed, hopefully for the better. I know I have a few hats that were requested of me to make, they are going to take a little longer then I had originally hope .... I don't want to over work my hands so much that I won't be able to use them anymore. I know my mom has had to go through carpal tunnel syndrome I really would prefer not to get that until I am much older then 26. I think I might take this time in between each hat to read up on how to write crochet patterns so that I can get my hats out to more people. unfortunately I was not born with enough arms and hands.... Oh but I wish I was sometimes.... imagine all the things I could make...... *le sigh* but anyways I'm going to read up on pattern creating, if anyone out there could help me out with this that would be so cool. the only problem with making my hats into patterns is that they are not only crochet, they are loom knit, and hand sewn together , piece by piece. so they seem challenging but it's very simple. loom knitting is the fastest way to knit a perfect fitting hat. Crocheting you can make simple shapes fast and easily. then the hand sewing helps mold the shapes the way you want them to go. then after all that you poke a little poly-fil here and there and poof you got a hat that looks so crazy people just can't help but smile at it. I really need time to finish everything I have so many projects that need to get started and completed or just thought through and drawn out someplace. sometimes I hate my brain. It's so hard to just shut it off, to relax and not stress out. I'm so glad that I have a job at least now to get me out of the house. It's not the best job believe me.... but at least it's something. $2.65 and hour and lol.... This week they were oh so nice enough to give me 12.25 hours.... cause that will pay my bills. I'm looking for other jobs near me, there's nothing even remotely leaning toward what I would like to do for a living. there's no galleries, no art stores, everything's basically corporately owned. ..... soulless! And I don't even know enough people to hook up a good job that would have anything to do with that kind of stuff around here. .... It make's me feel lonely and miss my little piece of upstate new york. it was small and boring, but i knew everyone in that town. and I never felt as lonely as I do in Massachusetts. The only time I don't feel lonely is when I'm with Gorgeous. He pretty much make's this place seem worth all the trouble. I'll wait as long as I have to but this place makes me feel colorless and alone. which adds to the stress. which makes going to work and doing something outside of my brain a welcomed change even if it's a crappy horrible job. I finally got some more hours at work (thank goodness).... people are trying to bring me into dumb , really dumb drama at work and I'm being the good one and just shrugging it off walking away, being adult. I'm there to work and make money , and distract my brain from realizing i'm still in this place..... that's pretty much it. I've been biking and hiking a lot lately, well when it's not raining and miserable, I've found two more plants to add to my collection of edible plant knowledge sheep sorrels and yellow goat's beard . I planted my garden today too! I did it all by myself too tore up the ground, pulled apart an old pallet for the edges of the garden, found some trellis for my morning glory's and four O'clocks to climb up. planted my bee balm, butterfly weed, Chinese forget me not's, aster, spearmints, basil, evening primrose, lemon and strawberry sunflowers, catnip, lavender, chamomile, sage, dill, oregano, corn flowers, micro lettuce, Echinacea, when it all starts filling in, it should look lovely. and the rabbits and other creatures that come into our yarn will like it and we get plenty of butterflies and maybe some humming birds. that would be nice. anything to make this place look livable. I'm tired of living with boys who don't take care of themselves, or their home. Gorgeous and I are trying to save up some money so we can get an apartment together I think if that happens maybe living here won't be so bad. the problem is getting money saved up. I need a better job that way I could actually make some money to save. And I didn't get to go to my weekly relaxing night of Stitch and Bitch.... in stead I had to work and i barely made any tips because no one came in .... it was super slow that night.
so yeah that's what's been going on in my little odd section of the world.